The Love Story of Norman Barnes and Alice Bradley

There are many love stories that have played out in both the Bradley and Barnes families. Out of all of the love stories, Alice Bradley and Norman Barnes have the most intriguing one. What started out as a forbidden courtship, eventually turned into an enduring love.
Alice Bradley was born on October 22, 1849 to Amon Bradley and Sylvia Barnes. She had an older brother named Franklin and a little sister named Emma. She grew up in what is now known as the Barnes Museum. The Bradley family was one of the most wealthy and influential families in town. Amon had his hand in many of the manufacturing industries in town as well as real estate. His wife Sylvia came from a wealthy family.

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Norman Barnes on the other hand came from more humble beginnings despite being the second cousin to Sylvia and third cousin to Alice. He was born on August 16, 1843 to Joel Henry Barnes and Anna B. Clark. Joel was a carpenter and Anna was a housewife.  Norman started out as a teacher at Lewis Academy when he was 19 years old and taught for 8 years. While he was a teacher at Lewis Academy, he began to tutor Alice who was a student there. They struck up a friendship when Alice was in her early teens and were very fond of each other. Alice starts to talk about Norman in her diary in 1862.

“Mother made loaf cake and doughnuts.  Norman Barnes took dinner with us.”
– February 7, 1862
from the diary of Alice Bradley Barnes.

The earliest letters we have of Norman and Alice start in 1863. While they were friends at the time, it appeared that there was an undercurrent of romantic feelings. In their letters they spoke about their everyday lives as well as expressed how much they missed each other.

Norman to Alice – October 12, 1863
“…here I am all alone and I must confess that I am a little homesick. How I would like at this moment to step into your place and see you, but cannot.”

Alice to Norman – October 26, 1863
“Thanksgiving is coming and I am really glad, for I suppose you are coming home then. It seems as though I had not seen you in a long, long time. We miss you very much, particularly myself as I have no one like you to play with at the table then.”

By this time, Norman would call upon Alice at her home several times a week. However, Alice's family was not always supportive of their relationship. The person who seemed most opposed to their courtship was Alice’s brother Franklin. Norman wrote about an incident where Franklin asked him to leave the house but he expressed that he didn’t know why Franklin disliked him. He speculated that Franklin was acting more like a protective brother over Alice.
On August 18, 1868, Norman wrote a letter to Amon and Sylvia Bradley asking for permission to marry Alice.

Excerpt from the letter of Norman Barnes to Amon and Sylvia Bradley.
"But this I am bound to do until forbidden by Father or Mother. Allie and myself have talked of these things often. She is fully convinced that I love her with my whole heart, I am convinced that she loves me with her whole heart. Whence we ask in all earnestness that we may consider ourselves as engaged to each other, as Man and Wife, or until we are joined in the holy bonds of Matrimony, when we then would feel the full force and realize the meaning of the words Companions for Life.
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Pray give this earnest and careful consideration; make it the subject of much thought before you answer. But we truly feel as if it should be of necessity be answered. For certainly it would be decidedly wrong for me to win more of her affection or she of mine, and then be separated forever; it would perchance ruin us both for the remainder of Life. But this we hope will not be. We trust our petition will be granted; and still we would not wish it granted if it should be the means of making a life-long distrustance on the Family, or the cause of biter enmity for the remainder of Life's journey. Although it would be hard, better hard to give each other up."

The Bradley family ended up approving of their wedding but not before Amon decided to take Norman under his wing. In order to marry Alice, Amon wanted Norman to be able to provide her with the lifestyle she has always been accustomed to. According to Alice’s diary, Norman did work as a clerk and a teacher around 1863.
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“My carte devisees came today.  I had a dozen.  Norman Barnes came to board with us today as he has commenced to be the clerk in the store. “ – April 27, 1863 – From the Diary of Alice Bradley Barnes

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It wasn’t until 1870 that he left behind the world of teaching permanently. His experience under Amon empowered Norman to go on to explore other business ventures including becoming sectary and treasurer of Atwater Manufacturing company for almost 30 years.
Around 1869, Norman got Alice a diamond ring. She mentions that they were getting it engraved. On Christmas eve, he gifted her the ring.
“Norm gave me a very pretty little diamond ring.” – December 24, 1869 
 Alice and Norman got married on October 9, 1873 at the First Congregational Church in Southington, CT. They share an anniversary with Amon and Sylvia.

“Today is my wedding day, and pleasant it is, and I am so thankful too. I have a great many flowers given my friends and neighbors, and a nice lot of bridal gifts, many more than I mentioned, in this book. I gave Norm a nice gold watch; he gave me an elegant pair of heavy gold chain bracelets. “ - October 9, 1873 – From the Diary of Alice Bradley Barnes.

After their wedding, they went on a honeymoon to New York. They stayed at the Sturtevant House Hotel on Broadway. They saw "Fanchon the Cricket" at Booth's Theatre. They also spent time with friends and attended a fair in Brooklyn. Their honeymoon lasted five days.
After marriage, Norman and Alice lived with her parents for the next 10 years. During the 19th century, it was very common to live in a multi-generational household as family was seen as the center of everything. By then Norman was accepted and became very close with the Bradley family. Even after they moved, they made it a point to visit Alice’s parents every day.

Alice and Norman were both extroverts who loved going to socials and had a love of performing. Often times, Alice’s little sister Emma would tag along. Alice was one of the founders of the Clotho society which started out as a community fundraising club and eventually turned into a drama club which Norman and Alice acted in.  Around 1882, Alice and Norman had a house build across the Southington town green where they moved shortly before Alice gave birth to their son Bradley on January 27, 1883.

When Bradley was old enough to write a diary, he spoke of his everyday life with his parents. Every birthday, she and Norman would deposit roughly $50 into an account for Bradley. That is worth around $1600 today. When he was younger, they would bake and pick fruit together. Alice and Norman passed along their love of theater to Bradley often attending local plays and concerts at their church and town hall. According to his diary, he performed during the Christmas exercises although they were small parts.
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Unfortunately, Alice died 1897 after a months long respiratory illness. She was only married to Norman for 24 years and Bradley was only 14. Both Norman and Bradley were stricken with grief. Bradley’s grades slipped and Norman constantly worried about him. Norman would mention Alice in his letters to Bradley expressing how beautiful she was and how she would love the location he was visiting. He also worried that Bradley would get sick like her and would end his letters saying “don’t get sick.” Norman never remarried.  Alice and Norman’s legacy lived on in their son Bradley. It was due to Bradley’s passion for preserving his families history and artifacts that we are able to tell the love story of Alice and Norman generations later.